When All Seems Lost
by speedy2green
Summary: Takes off from where the finale ended. A different view of what could happen
1. Chapter 1 Whoa Nelly

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 1 Whoa Nelly

The doors of the church flew open, just as the minister said, "I now pronounce you man and wife." A look of helplessness and guilt flashed across Lux's face as she physically felt the shock which rendered Baze riveted to the floor.

Cate and Ryan had turned to face him, and just for a moment, Baze and Cate locked eyes. Lux watched as her mother seemed to reach some inner resolve, turning toward Ryan, looping her arms around his neck, and pressing her body to his, as she engaged him in a major lip lock.

Baze's eyes were glued to the couple, as if he were watching a train wreck in morbid fascination. The newlyweds walked down the aisle toward the front of the church and the waiting limousine outside.

Cate had a smiled pasted on her face, and her unfocused eyes stared straight ahead, and she leaned on Ryan for support. Ryan, for his part, was clueless to the emotional battles being fought in his very midst; at least to the nature of the turmoil.

Baze's appearance was troublesome. However, Cate had pushed any doubts and fears he had way down inside him, when she embraced him. His love for Cate filled him to overflowing, and he basked in that love as they walked together toward the exit as man and wife.

Lux followed, leaning over when she reached Baze' s pew, and whispered loudly in his ear, "We need to talk NOW! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!"

Baze nodded his assent, bowing his head between his hands, which he rested on his knees. He had no idea what good talking to Lux would do. He was too late. Besides, Cate's smoking hot embrace of Ryan, demonstrated whom she preferred, didn't it?

"Cate, wait a minute!" Lux called as she ran down the church steps to the waiting limousine.

" You and Ryan go ahead. I'll catch a ride with someone else. There is something I have to do first."

"And what would that be young lady?"

Cate's eyes narrowed as she looked at her daughter's nervous expression. Lux was the queen of cool. This flustered state wasn't good, and it had to do with the man still sitting in a pew at the back of the church. What had happened to Lux' affirmation that Baze would never be the man Cate wanted him to be? She had seemed so certain.

"_I married Ryan on the strength of Lux's convictions. I-can't look back now. What does Baze think he's doing, showing up like he did?"_

"Mom, please just give me a few minutes," Lux pleaded. "Don't ask any questions. Just trust me. I have to do this."

"_Mom?" This is serious!"_

"Okay. We'll wait. You have five minutes."

Lux ran back up the steps, and Cate let out a deep breath, and she would have leaned back against the seat, except Ryan caught her by the waist. With one hand, he turned Cate's head, so she had to look at him.

"Would you like to explain to me what is going on?"


	2. Chapter 2 Tangled Mess

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 2 - Tangled Mess

"We talk. Now."

Lux half dragged her father out of the pew and across the aisle into the room where she had sat with her mother scarcely an hour before.

"Sit."

"What are you doing Lux? They are married!"

Lux paced back and forth in front of Baze, nervously running her hands through her hair. She gulped and sat down beside him, hugging him tightly before she spoke.

"We messed this up and we have to fix it!"

Baze pushed Lux back and looked into her eyes; his own full of remorse. As he rose from the couch he shook his head vigorously. He stood with his back to her, his shoulders hunched and his hands in his pockets.

"What do you mean "We???" And it's too late, anyway!"

"No! It isn't! This marriage hasn't gotten off the ground yet! There is such a thing as an annulment! And as far as "we" is concerned, you and I are responsible for Cate marrying Ryan!

"Why on earth did you tell Cate last night that you didn't love her when we both know you do? What happened to honesty?"

Baze turned around and looked at Lux sheepishly. "I was going to tell Cate last night, but Math convinced me that letting her go was the best thing I could do for her if I really loved her. I knew I could never give her what Ryan could."

"Remind me to give Math a swift kick in the a- I mean backside," Lux fumed. "What sparked the turn around today?"

"My dad came to the bar. He told me he loved me and that if I wanted Cate I should go for it. Leave it to me to get stuck in traffic, and wind up seconds too late. Hey, what part did you have in this mess?

Lux sat back down, patting the space next to her. This was going to hurt them both. She sighed.

"Cate had locked herself in here before the wedding and wouldn't talk to anyone. Finally, she let me in. Even with you telling her you didn't love her, she was still very torn. I convinced her that if you didn't have the courage to tell her the truth, that you would never be the man she wanted you to be. Don't you see? She still cares, even if she married Ryan. You know how she responds to rejection. She runs in the opposite direction, in this case into Ryan's arms. I-I'm so very sorry, Baze. I tried to play armchair psychiatrist, and now Cate is living a lie."

"I forgive you, kiddo," Baze answered, pushing Lux's hair away from her face.

"Are you willing to live the rest of your life without telling Cate the truth?"

"I've messed up her life enough."

"She deserves to know the truth, Baze. Then it will be her decision whether she buries the feelings she has for you, and stays with Ryan, or if she is honest with herself and him."

"You really think so?"

Baze's eyes held just a smidgen of hope. He cocked his head to one side.

"Yes, I do. Now go home, shower, put on a suit, and come to the reception. Let your heart lead you. I've got to go. Cate and Ryan are waiting for me, and I've got to come up with some excuse for why you were here and why I had to talk with you."

"Go," Baze ordered, kissing Lux on the forehead. "I'll try to be there in forty-five minutes, tops."

"Okay."

Baze waited until he was sure the limo had left the church. He practically sprinted down the steps, and ran to where he had parked the Jeep.

"Here goes nothing, Bazile," he muttered to himself.


	3. Chapter 3 Truth and Consequences R&C

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 3- Ryan and Cate-Truth and Consequences-Part One

"I'm need to to be truthful with me Cate, and tell me what's going on- beginning with why Baze showed up, looking like a man on a mission. I saw how he looked at you. He wanted to stop the wedding, didn't he? Why would he do that, unless he thought you felt something for him, too?

"I chose you, Ryan," Cate answered softly. "And as for Baze, he's respected my choice, at least until today."

"I need you to know something, Cate," Ryan said, calmly. "I spoke to Lux before the ceremony, and there seemed to be some uncertainty about whether or not you and I really belonged together. I told Lux to talk to you. I know what happened after the talk. What I need to know is what went on between the three of you- you, Lux, and Baze, yesterday."

"Where do you want me to begin, " Cate asked in a trembling voice. "Honestly, Ryan, my emotions have been put through the ringer in the past twenty-four hours. I thought I finally had things sorted out."

"So you're saying---"

"I'm saying," Cate interrupted, " that I'm not certain of anything anymore besides the fact that I love you."

"I believe that Cate, I really do," Ryan responded. "But I'm also a safe port for you- no strings attached, no complications, no real risk involved."

"There's where you're wrong," Cate challenged. "There is risk involved in any kind of commitment, especially marriage."

"But some relationships are riskier than others," Ryan countered. "That's why I need to know what went down between the three of you, starting with you and Baze, yesterday, when you hid out from the rehearsal dinner by escaping upstairs. You and Baze were having a conversation, when I appeared on the scene."

Cate tried to squelch the fear that was rising up from the pit of her stomach. She clenched and unclenched her fists, and tried to slow down her breathing.

"I told him that I felt like the party was more of a "roast than a toast", and Baze chided me for having left you to fend for yourself. I told him that I hadn't grown up, that I was afraid to marry you. And you know what-Baze encouraged me. He told me what a great mom I had turned out to be. Then he brought up Lux."

"Lux? What about Lux?"

"Baze said that Lux was the one who didn't want me to marry you; that she wanted the three of us to be a family."

Ryan leaned back on the car seat and closed his eyes. This conversation was serving to validate his insecurities. Nonetheless, he had to see this through if he ever was to be able to move forward with his life.

"I have to admit Cate, that when I barged into your house yesterday morning, I felt like I was intruding on a private moment. I tried to tell myself that it was nothing more that the bond the three of you shared by you being Lux's parents. Deep down, I was afraid it was something more, but I pushed those thoughts away. Continue please."

"After the party, when we were home relaxing, I told Lux what Baze had said. She denied it, saying that Baze was the one who didn't want me to marry you. She said he had admitted having strong feelings for me. I went to bed, and tried to forget what she had said. If Baze didn't say it, then it wasn't real; at least that's what I tried to tell myself. After tossing and turning for several hours, I went to see Baze. He was up on the roof. He'd never gone to bed."

"And?"

"And I told him that I was confused, that I didn't know what to think or feel. Lux was telling me one thing, and he had told me another. So I asked him out right if he was in love with me, and he denied it."

He told you he didn't love you?"

"That's correct. I stood there a few minutes, without talking, and then I went home.

"Hurt you didn't it, to be rejected by Baze again, when you were starting to feel something for him other than platonic feelings for the father of your child."

"How dare you try to analyze my feelings! You think you know everything about me! You know nothing!"

"There in lies the problem, Cate!" Ryan snapped back. "I only know part of you! I'm not sure if you even really know yourself, and the thought of facing the hidden part of you, is terrifying! You wouldn't be so angry if I hadn't hit a nerve!"

Cate began crying. Ryan pulled her to him, and she laid her head on his shoulder. He patted her on the back.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Cate. I just need for everything to be out in the open. Pushing everything under the rug isn't a way to start a marriage. You were still undecided this morning, weren't you? What did Lux say to you to change your mind?"

"She said, (sniff, sniff), that (sniff), if Baze didn't have (sniff) the courage (sniff, sniff) to tell me how he felt, that he (sniff) would never be (sniff) the man I wanted (sniff) him to be (sniff)."

"Blow your nose," Ryan gently said, as he pulled out his handkerchief, and handed it to Cate. "It seems he somehow gathered the courage to stake his claim, although he was too late."

"Where does this leave us?" Cate asked timidly, wary of Ryan's answer.

"We are going to the reception, and Baze is going to have the chance to say his peace to you. I want you to call him and invite him."

"That's not necessary."

"Lux!" They yelled in unison. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough, "she answered. "I invited him. Hey, let me in, slide over Cate. Champagne anyone? I think we all could use a drink."


	4. Chapter 4 His Best Shot

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 4 His Best Shot

Baze arrived at the Hotel Lucia's ballroom in record time. He had showered, shaved and dressed; even managing to tame his unruly locks. He saw the sidelong glances. He even thought he heard snippets of conversation, as he worked his way through the crowd.

"_Hey, isn't the the guy that barged in the back of the church just as the service was ending?"_

"_I don't know. I was sitting where I couldn't see."_

_Isn't he Lux's father? Why would he be here? Why did he come to the church at the last minute?_

Baze was under intense scrutiny; the kind where people tried their hardest not to appear as though they were watching him. He could feel their eyes upon him. He decided to kick things up a notch.

He turned on the mega watt smile that had served him so well in high school. "The Baze charisma" usually got him what he wanted, although his standards for the last sixteen years had not been that high. That was all about to change, no matter what happened.

He schmoozed his way over to Alice, who was watching him closely. Baze picked up a glass of champagne, and took a sip.

"What are you doing here, Baze? And why were you at the church dressed in what you wore last night, just as the ceremony was ending?

"Come on; cut a guy a break, Alice. I had my reasons. Lux invited me to the reception. I behaved myself last night at the rehearsal dinner. I was a very accommodating host. By the way, you look really gorgeous in that dress."

Alice knew she was getting a snow job. In spite of herself, she started to smile. _What was it about this guy? _Everyone seems to like him, except Cate, and even she had mellowed in the week before the wedding. Alice raised her hands in defeat.

"Okay, Baze. All of this craziness, which has been the off-air "Cate and Ryan show", has gotten to me. Add you and Lux to the mix, and you've got a powder keg just waiting for someone to drop a match."

Baze's eyes widened in surprise. He had not given her enough credit. For once, he was speechless. Alice had been more observant than he had realized.

He looked up to see Lux making her way toward him. With a quick glance around the room, he saw Cate and Ryan engaged in conversation with Laverne, Cate's mother, and Evelyn, Ryan's mother. He reached for the note in his pocket, just as Lux gave him a quick hug.

"Hey, young lady, here I am, as you requested."

"You look great, Baze. Ah, Alice could you give us a minute?"

Alice looked at the two of them. She hoped the powder keg had a long fuse. She had just begun to enjoy herself. Shrugging her shoulders, she moved off to one side. Fate had become responsible for this show, and she was just a bystander.

"So what's the plan," Lux asked anxiously. "What are you going to do?"

"Slip this note to your mother, Lux- and no peeking. You just have to trust me."

"That's your plan?" Lux responded.

"Yep. Hopefully, she will excuse herself to the ladies' room and read it."

"Maybe I can help with that," Lux added, hopefully.

"No," Baze stated firmly. "This is something that has to entirely be Cate's decision. She has to choose. Just try to slip it to her without being noticed."

Lux kissed her father on the cheek, and started threading her way between people towards her mother and Ryan. When she was almost there, Cate happened to look up in her direction, noticing Baze for the first time.

A sad smile appeared on Cate's face just for an instant. However, it was long enough to cause a lapse in the conversation. All heads turned in the direction of Cate's gaze.

"What's he doing here?" Evelyn demanded.

"Mom, he's invited. He is Lux's father, after all, and we are all trying to get along. You were at the rehearsal dinner. We are going to be in each other's lives It is something you will have to accept."

"He's part of the family, whether you like it or not," Cate quietly added. "and he will be treated with respect."

"Excuse me," Evelyn responded. "I seem to have stepped on some toes. The situation is a bit awkward, you have to admit."

"We've been making it work," Lux spoke strongly in her mother's defense. "There has never been anything conventional about this family."

Lux squeezed her mother's hand, deftly passing the note. Cate didn't change her expression, but suddenly dumped the contents of her champagne glass on Lux's dress.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry! If we quickly get some water on it, perhaps it won't stain. Mother, Evelyn, Ryan, please excuse us for a few minutes."

"Well, I never!" Evelyn sputtered in consternation. "This whole situation gets crazier by the minute. You have to admit that something just isn't right, Ryan. I know you feel it too."

Forget it, Mom," Ryan hissed, as Cate and Lux hurried to the rest room. "Go find your table. Dinner will be served as soon as Lux and Cate return. Don't cause any problems blabbing about what you think you know."

Ryan went to his own table, and immediately downed a glass of champagne, following it with another. His mother, muttering to herself, did as her son had asked. Laverne walked somewhat unsteadily to where Baze stood.

"I have to say I'm glad you showed up," she commented. "Come sit with me. I'm in need of a companion."

"I believe I'll take you up on that offer, Laverne," he said, offering her his arm. Once they were seated, she leaned over and spoke very softly.

"Might I assume the fireworks are about to begin?"

"You will just have to wait and see, Laverne," Baze answered in the same manner. Anything could happen." He lowered his voice another notch. "I'm waiting, just like you." _"And praying," _He thought to himself.


	5. Chapter 5 Open Hearts Bleed Part 1

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 5 -Open Hearts Can Bleed- Part !

_Cate,_

_I lied when I said I wasn't in love with you. I was going to tell you, but I let a well-meaning friend convince me that my lack of personal achievement and a substantial bank account were more important that how I felt. _

_These last few months have brought meaning and purpose to my life. I have to say that you are responsible, as well as Lux. All my experiences with the opposite sex have been shallow and self-serving. You see, I didn't think I was capable of real love._

_Lux showed me that I was wrong. I have spent the last sixteen years trying to bury what I did to you deep down inside of me, so I wouldn't have to hold myself accountable. You were decent, and smart, and cute, and I broke you. Despite the pain I caused you, you really made something of yourself._

_When Lux became part of our lives, I started changing in spite of myself. I let myself feel. When we went on the road trip, I realized I was falling in love with you. Maybe I always cared for you, and I just was too much of a coward to admit it._

_I know you have feelings for me as well. Doesn't Lux deserve a chance at having a real family? I know you felt rejected for the second time last night. If you give me the chance, I will never abandon you again._

_I know that Ryan is safe and reliable. I actually like the guy. Doesn't he deserve someone who can love him with her whole heart? I believe he knows there is something between us, whether he can admit it to himself, or not._

_Lux has me believing in fairy tales and soul mates. Give us a chance to be a couple, and let's see where the road leads us. Please have the courage to follow your heart and not your head. Will it be easy? No. There will be hurt and pain, and disapproval. I think we are worth it, but the decision is yours, and so is my heart._

_Baze_

Cate Cassidy Thomas clutched the tear-stained letter to her heart, as she continued to sob. She had read it three times. The third time was the deal breaker. She knew she couldn't stay married to Ryan.

"What am I going to say to Ryan, Lux?" she asked between sobs. "I can't go back out there and pretend to be the loving wife. I want to run away!"

"Neither of us can, Cate."

"Ryan! What are you doing in here?"

Ryan Thomas stood before her, resignation on his face. He sighed wearily, just as older women entered the restroom. Lux rushed over to the stunned matron and pushed her back out the door.

"Sorry, but you are going to have to hold it just a little longer."

The dazed woman walked back toward her table without a word. The band was playing and dinner was served. _"Ryan's doing," _Lux thought to herself, as she sat down at the table reserved for the wedding party.

Two minutes later, Cate and Ryan took their places at the table. Cate's eyes were red and puffy. Ryan's demeanor was calm, but somber. Dinner was a quiet affair. Neither the bride or groom said a word; concentrating instead on their meal.

More than one guest wondered if they were attending a wake instead of a wedding reception. Alice rubbed her forehead and sighed. Math glared at Baze, who didn't flinch.

"You know something, don't you?" Jamie asked, his tone accusatory. "What did you say to Baze last night?"

" I did what I thought was right. It doesn't matter anymore. I guess things were bound to come to a head with or without my interference."

"You're talking in riddles, Math. I'm confused."

"Cate and Baze. They are bound to each other, even with everything that has happened over the last sixteen years. Ryan knows it too."

"I still don't understand."

You will. Look at Ryan. He's tapping on his champagne glass."

"May I have your attention," Ryan said, with his voice trembling slightly. " Cate and I would like to thank you for attending. However, I must confess that this marriage was a mistake from beginning to end.

Cate, you tried your best, but we never had that deep connection that ties you to someone for life. Your soul mate is in this room. It is up to you and Baze to make a life together with your daughter work. I will relinquish you legally as soon as possible to begin your new life.

Lux, forgive me for ignoring the bond you three have. Cate, I think I knew yesterday, we were never meant to be. I was just not man enough to admit it."

Ryan paused to lift his champagne glass in the air. "Please do not feel sorry for me. I made my own bed by letting this marriage happen. To Lux and family."

He raised the glass to his lips and drank, draining the glass. The guest were too stunned to react with the exception of Ryan's mother.

"I knew she wasn't good enough for him."

"Shut up. Evie." Ryan's father stood up and faced down his ex-wife, who was watching him with wide-eyed surprise.

"Ryan needs both of us, and demeaning Cate won't help. Come son, lets get out of here- the three of us."

Ryan stood up and with as much dignity as he could muster, walked out of the room; his parents close on his heels. Lux seized the opportunity to make an announcement of her own.

"We, that is, my mother, father and I, realize how upsetting and confusing this must be to all of you. Please know each of your gifts will be returned. I just can't give you an exact date. I ask that you respect the privacy of Cate, Ryan, myself, and Baze during this very difficult time for all of us. This wedding reception is officially over."

Guests appeared to be temporarily glued to their seats in shock. Feeling lost, Cate looked to Lux for direction. Lux helped her out of her chair, and they walked over to Laverne and Baze's table. Baze noticed that Cate was ashen, leaning heavily on Lux.

Laverne had consumed plenty of champagne. However, Ryan's declaration had sobered her up faster than any patent remedy. She now took stock of her daughter's appearance. Cate appeared to be near a breakdown. Laverne rose to stand on one side of her, while Lux stood on the other.

"Laverne, we need to get Cate- I mean-Mom, out of here. She doesn't feel well."

"I can see that. Cate, we will have the limo take us to my house for tonight," she stated. "Is that all right with you?"

"Yes, mother," Cate replied. She turned her attention briefly to Baze.

Are you really going to stay this time?"

"Always. Forever. Whenever you're ready, Cate. Take some time to get yourself together. I'm just a phone call away."

The look that passed between them said more than words ever could. Lux felt like she was viewing something intensely personal passing between her parents. She had to look away.

"We need to go, Cate, " her mother urged, as she tugged on her arm, breaking the spell. Lux, her mother, and grandmother walked quickly through the lobby, avoiding the stare of onlookers.

Cate felt numb. Her body seemed to be on auto pilot. Once they were in the limousine, she began to feel nauseous. The moment she stepped out of the car onto her mother's lawn, she lost the battle with her nerves. She dropped to her knees, violently emptying the contents of her stomach on the grass.

She was dimly aware of being pulled to her feet and ushered into the house. Cate collapsed on the living room sofa, drawing her knees up to her chest. There were low voices coming from the kitchen, followed by the sound of someone rushing up the stairs.

Muffled profanity and startled exclamations came from the direction of Abby's room. Over the next hour, Cate allowed the members of her family to help her undress, shower, and get into bed. She was glad for comforting familiarity of her childhood room.

She didn't open her eyes when someone came into the room, and sat down on the bed. That someone was quickly identified by the scent of her perfume. Lux. Cate sighed and opened her eyes. Lux's baby blues were full of concern.

"I've brought you something to help you sleep, Mom."

Cate sat up like an obedient child, and downed the sleeping pill with a full glass of water. She lay back down, and Lux pulled the comforter over her shoulders.

Lux?

Yes?

"I like it when you call me "Mom." It makes me think you've forgiven me for letting you go."

"I have, and we are going to get through this as a family," Lux asserted.

"My good girl," Cate mumbled sleepily. "Will you stay with me awhile?"

Wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Lux replied, snuggling up to her mother's side. " I love you."

"Right back atcha. " Cate yawned and moved closer to Lux, who suddenly realized that she really _home, both emotionally and physically. _They all would be tested in the days to come. She was ready to deal with anything.

Cate's breathing became rhythmic and slow. Lux felt her eyelids become heavy. She allowed herself to finally relax, as sleep claimed her too.

The bedroom door cracked open just a bit. Laverne peered inside.

"Are they asleep? Abby asked, looker over Laverne's shoulder.

"Yes, and so should you be, young lady. Your sister is going to need your support.

"I know." Abby cocked her head to one side. "As crazy as things seem now, at least it's all out in the open."

"Thank goodness. Things have a way of righting themselves."

Abby snorted. "This sage advice comes from a woman who has been married four times."

"Yeow! That hurt!"

"Go to bed, Abby!"

Okay! Gee, getting touchy in you old age, Mom."

Abby ducked and ran for the stairs, as a shoe sailed by her head.

Good night, Mom."

"I am not old!"


	6. Chapter 6 Hemmed In

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 6 Hemmed In

_The morning after _

Baze was worried. He had promised himself to give Cate at least 24 hours before he contacted her, unless she contacted him first. A restless night had been responsible for his change in attitude. He couldn't shake the memory of how Cate had looked when they last spoke: Ashen, lost, barely able to hold it together. Her face had invaded his dreams. She had morphed from the Cate at the reception, into a sixteen-year-old Cate in a hospital bed, having their baby….alone.

He had awoke in a start, shaken by the dream. Cate was capable of considerable bravado. But the previous night she had been very vulnerable. He had seen a glimpse of that sixteen year old when he looked into her eyes. He was afraid of what the new day would bring, and he vowed he would do anything and everything within his power to protect her.

The need to see Cate was overwhelming. Baze quickly showered shaved, and dressed He was finishing his first cup of badly needed coffee when the phone rang.

"Hey. Have you had breakfast? Everyone is gone. Mom and Abby were going to start working on wedding present returns at my house; or so they said. I think they wanted to give us a chance to talk. Could you come over now?

Cate's voice was low and tentative. Baze found himself visualizing that sixteen-year-old girl again. His heart swelled with compassion and love.

"No, I haven't Cate. How do you feel this morning. I was worried about you last night."

Yeah, I lost it after the reception. Threw up in Mom's yard. Mom, Abby and Lux had to treat me like a baby. Got me cleaned up, in the bed and sedated. The sleeping pill did wonders. I'm a little shaky and scared of what lies ahead, you know. I won't break again, but I need your support."

"You know you have that. Could you hold down some food?"

Thought you'd never ask. Get some of those breakfast burritos and a cappuccino from-"

"McDonald's," Baze completed her sentence with a chuckle. "I remember from the road trip. You hang tight and I'll be there in a little while."

"K. Hurry up. I'm starving and lonely."

Baze sipped his mocha latte while Cate wolfed down her third burrito. Anxious or not, all the butterflies were definitely gone from her stomach. The little sighs of pleasure she made while she ate were driving Baze crazy.

"Cate, sweetheart, I know you are enjoying your food, but those noises you're making are giving my libido fits."

Cate cocked one eyebrow at him. He was holding a pillow over his groin. She rolled her eyes.

"I don't believe you! You have that little control over your body at a time like this?"

"Guilty! I'm in love with you! You are cute and sexy, even when you have bed head and are wearing sweat pants and a top that are too big for you!"

Cate smiled at his declaration and his obvious embarrassment and discomfort. This was a side of Baze she wanted to get to know. The man who spoke from his heart; not the smooth talking playboy who loved to raise her ire.

"So I get under your skin? Is that it?" she asked.

"You have from the minute I laid eyes on you. I was the idiot who screwed everything up."

"Not everything," Cate replied softly. " No one held a gun to my head to make me get in the back of your mom's mini van. I enjoyed myself, even if you were, um, a little 'speedy'."

"Cate, I-"

"No, let me finish." She held up her right hand. "I've forgiven you for the way you treated me after we slept together. Your note yesterday said it all, and I believe you. We are starting over. The slate is clean."

Cate slipped off the bar stool she had been sitting on, and sat next to Baze, laying her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment. Both of them had almost dozed off, when their reverie was interrupted by the phone.

"Hello? Oh. So Mom told you I was here. Now? Baze is here. You expected as much. I guess you're right. I had hoped to at least have a day before we had to get into everything. The Oregonian, you say? Trina? Oh no. Bye."

"Ryan?" Baze asked, his eyes searching Cate's troubled face. She nodded as she sat back down on the couch next to him. She turned her body a little, so she could look directly at him. She nodded in response to his question.

"Trina knows what happened yesterday. We made the front page of the Oregonian. Ryan's not sure if she got her information from the paper, or if someone called her. She's furious, and she's called an emergency meeting for tomorrow morning. Ryan is on his way over."

Baze released a long, slow, breath. "I can't say I'm really surprised, Cate. I'm just sorry it's happening so fast."

Brown eyes locked with blue. Cate seemed to gather her resolve from those eyes she loved so much. They were what had drawn her to Baze the very first time she looked into them.

"Just for the record, I don't care about the radio station, and my job. Oh, okay, I care, but I care a lot more about our future together with Lux. There is no more Cate and Ryan. I'm in good shape financially. I'll just take a break for awhile. Maybe I'll go back to school. I've always wanted a chance to report serious news.

Baze stared at her in amazement. The vulnerability and the strength; they were what made Cate, who she was, and he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

"Close your mouth, Baze, and just hold me."

"Yes Ma'am."

Cate snuggled into his chest, while Baze silently said a prayer of thanks for the chance of making a life with this women and their child. Let the chips fall where they may. They would survive, no matter what.


	7. Chapter 7 Ace In The Hole

When All Seems Lost

Chapter 7. Ace in the Hole

_Cate's House_

Ryan sat on Cate's couch, rubbing his temples He had been alone in the house for the past hour. Abby and Laverne were out trying to return gifts and smooth over feelings. Trina had called minutes later, with scream and threats to the point that Ryan had hung up on her. When she called back, he had refused to pick up the phone. He had listened to her malign Cate and call her names, until his temper got the best of him. Picking up the phone, he had told her in no uncertain terms that he planned to resign, and his attorney would be in touch regarding the verbal threats she had made toward Cate. He slammed the phone in Trina's ear.

She had called a third time, leaving a message. "Just make sure you and "Miss can't make up her mind" are at the station at 9 AM sharp!"

Ryan sighed. If Trina's tirade and threats weren't enough, the wedding/reception debacle had made the front page of the Oregonian.

**"CATE AND RYAN…NO, CATE AND BAZE?**"

Every last word and action were laid out in black and white, and then some. There was nothing there actually libelous, but it was obvious to Ryan that someone with first hand knowledge had leaked the story to the press. He wouldn't have put it past Trina to have planted someone at the wedding and the reception. Cate had pointedly not invited her. Trina was known for coming on to any man married or not, who happened to be nice looking. Ryan hadn't been an exception, except for the fact that he didn't take her up on her offer. He was still on the air because the board knew they had a winner in the Ryan and Cate show. Trina didn't take rejection well, and she wielded her power like a sledge hammer whenever possible. She had become even more difficult, when Cate and Ryan's relationship had become public due to Lux's fateful announcement.

A weary Ryan called Cate at her mothers, and with a minimum of words, laid out what had happened. After the brief call, he put on his jacket and picked up his keys.

He opened the door, and sighed again.

"Hello Alice. Cate's not here. Come on in. If you're here to berate me, forget it. Trina's already done so. And that goes for Cate as well."

"Down boy. I may not be happy for what this break up means for the station, but I'm not the enemy here. I have to show you something."

"Come on in then, and have a seat. I have to call Cate at her mom's and tell her I have been delayed."

"Is Baze with her?"

"Yes."

"Tell them to come on over, and not to worry about Trina. She's about to get her wings clipped."

Ryan looked at Alice with curiosity. "What are you up to, Alice?"

Alice grinned in return. "You'll see. Now put on a pot of coffee for us. I guess you know your way around Cate's kitchen."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Come on, Alice. Give me a break."

Alice giggled. "Make that phone call, Ryan."

"Okay, Okay. Pushy woman."

_Laverne's House_

Cate laid down the phone on the kitchen counter. "I just got the strangest phone call from Ryan."

"Go on, " Baze encouraged. "Tell me what's up."

"Alice came over just as Ryan was about to leave. She has something to show the three of us. She told Ryan, and I quote, "Trina's about to get her wings clipped."

"Sounds like fun," Baze smirked.

"You're one to talk," Cate retorted. "Since I caught you ready to bang Trina on your pool table."

"Hey, that was the old Baze. This is the new Baze, baby." Baze gave Cate his best puppy dog eyes.

Cate whacked him on the back. "Come on, you big lug. Let's see what gives."


	8. Chapter 8  What Comes AroundPt 1

When All Seems Lost

Chapter Eight

What Goes Around…

_Midnight, hours after the reception_

_Eliza Thorogood sat behind her husband's desk, a half-smile on her face. The results of her painstaking planning were coming to fruition, and she planned to enjoy every minute of it. She would be killing two birds with one stone, marking the beginning of the life she should have had all along. She had turned her head too long, to Samuel's affairs and shady dealings. _

_As far as the shady dealings went, a high ranking police officer whom she knew rather well, would be receiving an "anonymous" package within the hour. Samuel's floozy for the last three months, that witch Trina, would go down with him, but not until she had received the public humiliation Eliza craved. Then there were those board members…"_

_Eliza looked at the photographs spread out on the desk one more time. She laughed. She looked at her watch. In approximately seven more hours, she wouldn't be the only one laughing._

_Cate's house, where Cate, Baze, Alice and Ryan are gathered._

"This is just too good to be true, Alice," Cate muttered as she looked at the photos scattered about on the kitchen table. Tell me again how this all came about?"

Before Alice had a chance to answer, Ryan jumped into the conversation, shaking his head. " Wow, these don't leave anything to the imagination. Trina sure got around."

"Yeah, well we all know that," Cate snapped, looking hard at Baze, who suddenly found the floor very interesting. I knew she would jump any guy half good-looking. Ask Baze!"

"Low blow, Cate, he said softly, "You know I'm not that man anymore."

"Do I?" she asked in return

"Hey guys, this isn't all about you," Alice stated sharply. "Cate, you wanted to hear once more all this all began?"

"Yeah, I did. I mean-Mrs. Thorogood is behind these photos?

"Yep," Alice nodded, "and that's not all. Samuel Thorogood was arrested about 4 AM this morning for embezzling station funds. Mrs. Thorogood called me just after the pictures arrived by messenger- and this is where it gets good," Alice added excitingly, "Mr. Thorogood didn't do it alone."

"Trina?" Cate asked, as she leaned forward, elbows on the table.

"Hallelujah!" Cate shouted. "Am I wrong to enjoy a little vengeance on the woman who like to make my life a living hell?

Baze snickered. "Who is this Mrs. Thorogood, and what does she have to do with the station, and these porno pictures of Trina and all these guys?"

"Watch your step, Nathaniel," Cate warned. "Just be glad that Mrs. Thorogood didn't have you in her sights, or we would all be getting a bulls-eye view of your bud-"

Ryan masked a loud chuckle behind a forced cough. "Mrs. Thorogood, Baze, is the station owner. All those guys, are board members." Ryan took a closer look. "Wow too female board members. Wonder if she planned to blackmail them to keep a-"

"a majority behind any agenda she wanted to push," Alice complete the sentence. It appears so. Mrs. T's detectives have everything on tape. One board member decided to spell his guts to Mrs. T, because he hated and distrusted Trina. Statements which support the dirt on Trina and Samuel Thorogood. She expects to have resignations in hand before the meeting."

Ryan gave a wry laugh. "I never would have figured Eliza Thorogood as a mover and a shaker. She always seemed to defer to her husband. Played the loving subservient wife to the tee."

"I felt the same way," Alice chimed in, "until I ran into her at the San Diego conference about six weeks ago. Actually, we met at the conference center ballroom, with the first night party in full swing. Trina was drunk, and was putting the moves on my husband, who was also loaded. He was trying to push her away, but she was like an octopus; all arms and legs.

Then I felt steady pressure on my right arm. I looked up and into the brilliant blue eyes of Eliza Thorogood. She had been watching Trina, and observing my reaction. I had been about ready to really make a scene until Mrs. Thorogood stopped me."

"All in good time, Alice," she said. "I believe your husband has managed to extricate himself from Trina. Looks like she's headed for the new intern. Have patience, Alice. Trust me."

"I knew I could in that instant," Alice explained. "and I realized that there was more to the woman than any of us had given her credit for. I had almost forgotten until last night after all you guys had left the reception. Trina had steam coming out of her ears, and suddenly there was Mrs. Thorogood again, smiling at me and nodding her head.

When I got home, there was a message on my phone stating I would be getting a "package" first thing this morning, and to clue you three in on what was going on. The picture of Trina and Samuel Thorogood was on top of the stack of photos. Eliza had included a note explaining that her detective had discovered that Trina had been involved with him for three months-and not just between the sheets."

"The embezzlement," Baze noted. " and she knew that Trina would be after Cate because of what happened last night. So how come Trina doesn't know about this yet?"

"Mrs. T. has some very good friends in the Portland PD, Baze. You are invited to the conference with Cate at K100. Trina has no idea what's going to come down. Mrs. Thorogood will actually be running the show. Get dressed, Cate, we don't have much time. We have to be at the station in 45 minutes, I'd like to be there a little earlier, before Trina arrives. Baze you look fine."

"Gee, Thanks Mom."

"Don't push it Baze."

Trina stepped out of her car with a spring in her step. She had not been able to reach Samuel since he had gone home to Eliza. Perhaps the Ice Queen had begun to catch onto the affair. No worries. Eliza Thorogood appeared content to play the obedient company wife All of the moneyAlice and Samuel had embezzled had been wired to offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands, some of which Samuel had no knowledge. Trina could go with him, or without him. Either way she would come out on top. Her arrogance would not let her think other wise.

She could start over again; reinvent herself, and the board members she had blackmailed would keep their mouths shut She had tried to reach each one of them this morning as well. Just as Samuel, her calls went to voice mail. She frowned.

Men were weak and easy to manipulate. So she would have to do the dirty work alone. The were also easy to scare when their carefully crafted reputations were on the line. Wimps. She hated weakness. On the other hand, she was sure she could count on their support if she needed them.

A less egotistical woman would have seen red flags. But not Trina. She felt invincible. After all she always got want she wanted, didn't she? And what she wanted most of all at this moment; was to grind Cate Cassidy into dust. Okay, maybe that was a bit much. But she wanted Cate to know that the career she had carefully built at K100 was over, and gone for good. Who was going to hire her after yesterday's fiasco? How dare she screw with the winning formula for the day show? And then there was Ryan. Maybe she would make him sweat. How dare he turn her down in favor of Cate? The man was a moron.

Trina was so engrossed in her own thoughts, that she didn't notice the stares and whispers as she entered the radio station. She went straight down the hall to the conference room. The door was shut.

"#&%**!"

Taped to the door was an 8 by10 glossy of her and Samuel Thorogood _en flagrante delicto._ Someone had gone to the trouble to add horns and a tail to her picture. Trina was still staring at the photograph, her hand on the doorknob when someone jerked the door open from the other side, causing Trina to become off balance. She fell toward the conference table, hissing and spitting like a wildcat.

"Who is responsible for this, Cate? Just you wait until Samuel Thorogood hears about this!"

Cate laughed out loud. "I wish I could claim credit, Trina, I really do. You give me too much credit!

Trina could no longer contain herself. She lunged across the table toward Cate, and found herself tackled by Baze, while everyone else laughed.

"Get off of me, you, you, …."

"Trina, shut up and sit down. I'm responsible for the photograph, although I am not responsible for the additional artwork. "

Trina looked up in astonishment into the face of Eliza Thorogood. Baze sat her roughly in a chair as Eliza moved in for the kill. He admired the way the woman worked.

"Take a good look at the pictures in front of you Trina. Samuel is in jail, courtesy of your little embezzlement scheme."

Trina shook her head in disbelief. " No. You couldn't have done this on your own."

Oh, she didn't Trina," Alice said with a smirk. "She had the services of a very good investigator, and my complete support. I have to admit these photos shock even me! Now I know why last year's summer intern called off her marriage. Did Samuel know?"

"You bit-"

"That's enough, Trina," Eliza cut her off. "It's over. Your reign is over. Half of the board has resigned, rather than face prosecution, and Samuel is in jail screaming the embezzlement was all your idea."

"Oh did he! The Thorogood name will be sullied forever!"

"And I don't care." Eliza smiled. She pushed a buzzer under the table, and the door opened revealing an uniformed Portland police officer.

"Please take her away officer. We have other business to discuss."

The officer jerked Trina out of her chair and shoved her up against the wall, and handcuffed her.

"You have the right to remain silent, the right-"

"Oh take that Miranda warning card and shove it! I know my rights! I want to speak to my lawyer, I want my phone call. You can't treat me like a street whore!"

"Move it sister. From what I've heard and seen, the moniker fits. You just exchanged the street for the board room!"

"Well, I never!"

Yes, you have, and that's why you're in this predicament. Let's go!"  
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

As the officer ushered Trina out of the room, Baze could no longer contain his laughter, which was contagious. Mrs. Thorogood sat at the head of the long table, with a pleased expression on her face. She waited patiently until the others could contain themselves. Eliza smoothed back her hair, and rose from her chair.

"Now that's over, we must attend to some other business, I'm afraid. But there's no reason we can't continue in comfort. I'm adjorning this meeting to the executive penthouse suite upstairs. There is brunch for us to enjoy while we discuss what to do with the programming. "

"Awesome!" Baze exclaimed." My stomach was rumbling!"

"So was mine, Mr. Bazile. So was mine. Additionally, there are two people I want you and Cate to meet. Let's move this meeting upstairs!"


	9. Chapte r8 Part 2 Goes Around

When all Seems Lost

Chapter 8 Pt 2

Goes Around

Eliza Thorogood viewed the four adults standing around her in the elevator. Now that the matter with Trina had been resolved, there was an awkward silence. They didn't seem to know what to say to each other or to her.

Once again, she would have to take the bull by the horns. The station was her top priority, but Eliza found herself caring deeply for these people, including the once she hadn't formally met yet, Lux.

She sighed as they got off the elevator, and crossed the hall to the executive penthouse. The living room was spacious and airy, with one wall made of glass, affording a bird's eye view of downtown Portland, and the Columbia and Willamette rivers.

"Wow. What a view!" Cate exclaimed. "I'd always heard about this place, but we peons were never invited."

"You mean _you were never invited,_ Cate," Ryan looked at her with sad eyes.

"Trina tried on several occasions to get me up here. Turned her down flat. The only reason I kept my job, was that our ratings were through the roof."

"And Baze and I have ruined that, now," Cate said softly.

"I had hoped that we might have a good meal, before we got into the hard issues, Cate, Nathaniel, Baze, and Alice," Eliza said, her blue eyes full of compassion. I do have some ideas we can discuss. I know this is hard on you, Ryan that you don't want to relieve yesterday, but the station needs to take some sort of stand, and your input will be needed. Decisions will have to be made in part at least, today.

Eliza drew a long breath. Ryan had his eyes closed and his arms wrapped about his, while Cate leaned into Baze for comfort.  
"I think quick action has to be taken for two reasons: the viability of the station and for the well-being on the people involved.

I would also like your input, Cate and Ryan."

Cate looked up at Ryan with tears in her eyes. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

Ryan looked up in anger. "What kind of glutton for punishment do you think I am, Cate? Things will NEVER BE THE SAME. Not for us, not for the show. We have to move on."

Cate shrank further into Baze's chest sobbing softly.

"I know the wounds are raw," Eliza stated matter of factly, "but I have some rather important decisions to make quickly. So try to contain yourselves. Cate, would you want to hang around were the situations reversed?

Cate shook her head, unable to look Ryan in the eyes. She loved him in her own way, just not enough to sustain a marriage. Not enough to force Baze from her heart.

He nodded. "As strange as this may seem, this whole ordeal has brought my parents closer to each other I'll be going to Seattle to stay with either my mom or with my dad. I want to hang out for a while; maybe a couple of months, re-evaluate my life, and get a place of my own.

I'll be staying in town long enough to put most of my things in storage, and to sort out my matrimonial state with Cate."

"You mean an annulment?"

"Yes."

"I believe I can help you in two ways. I have contacts with the owners of several stations in Seattle, and I have an attorney who is very discreet, and sympathetic. He has been doing some work for me, and he has a good heart. I believe he could help you. Here is his card."

Ryan uttered a quiet, "Thank you, as he put the card in his inside coat pocket.

"Just being practical," Eliza said with a sigh. "What about you, Cate?"

"I have no idea." She spoke very softly. "I can't see myself going back to the kind of show I was doing even if things had worked out with Ryan. I guess I need some time for myself and my family as well. Yet, I really am scared of the public reaction toward Baze and myself. We will be seen as home wreckers. The public liked the idea of "Cate and Ryan make a family with Lux". Baze and I will be vilified for ripping apart a winning combination."

"Ripping apart a winning combination was inevitable, "Eliza stated matter-of factly. "Better now than later. It may not feel like it now, but it will heart less in the long run.

As far a replacing the two of you goes, Tim and Tina from the graveyard shift, seem to be holding their own. They aren't you and Ryan, but they have their own appeal.

I have two reporters scheduled to appear here for statements in two hours. I will be telling my story, and they will already have some of the facts from the police about Trina and Samuel. I will give them my side of the story. I will come out looking like the badly maligned wife who is determined to carry on.

"Your situation, Ryan, Cate,and Baze, is a little harder to fix. The Oregonian has already had a piece of my mind. I have always been a major contributor. I accused them of taking lessons from the National Enquirer and hinted that they might want to prove they can write real news if they wanted my continued support.

"This is what I propose: A prepared statement by the three of you, and Lux, fairly short, and stating that if Portland wants the true story, they will stay tuned to K 100 for the rest of the story."

Cate, Ryan, and Baze looked up at Eliza in horror. _Going on the air?"_

"I see those looks, and I'm not crazy. Hear me out. What I mean is a conversational situation between the four of you. Listeners can response only by email. Not on the air. You could plan together how you will do this. I was thinking three days from now."

What does everyone think? Don't be shy now."

Ryan looked deep in thought. "It could work. I would take a lot of co-ordination between the three of us."

"No." Baze said. "It should be the four of us. Lux must be included. She's what started everything. She's strong, and we need her input."

"You're right, Baze. She's what brought us together."

Eliza looked at Ryan, Cate, and Baze. The common thread was Lux. The time had come to reveal her guests.

There is one more subject I need to cover with you. I told you, Cate and Baze, that I had two people I wanted you to meet and so you shall, in a few moments. I have a story to tell you.

"I was sheltered as the only daughter of two wealthy and influential people; part of the Portland aristocracy. My life was planned out from the day I was born. One glorious summer, before I began college back east, I was invited to spend some time with a friend at her parent's cottage on Puget Sound. Her father was having some work done by one of the local boys. He was tall, tanned, handsome with green eyes and curly dark hair, funny, and completely at ease with himself and others.

He loved to poke fun at my reserved manners. The truth was I didn't know how to have fun. He would take us on trips down the sound. He taught me how to fish, and he taught me how to love. We began an intense, secret affair. My friend Sue Ellen, covered for me, and I would sneak out of the cottage late at night, and return a few hours before day break. The week before we were to return to Portland, I found out I was pregnant. I had some money of my own from my grandmother, and we ran off together. We got as far as his grandmother's house in Chicago, before my parents found us.

I always thought that Daddy paid Thomas off. I loved him

At least that was what I was told. It didn't make me love him any less. The

truth was that Daddy convinced Thomas that he would force me to have an abortion, unless Thomas stayed away from me permanently.

So I was sent home in shame, then carted off to stay with an old maid great aunt until the birth of my child. I pleaded with the staff to let me hold my child just once. My cries fell on deaf ears. A nurse later told me I'd had a boy.

I was sent to Radcliffe, and upon graduation, forced to marry Samuel Thorogood. My heart was broken, I didn't care. Whenever I complained, I was reminded of the "shame" I had brought on the family. Samuel used to like to call Thomas a "gold digger" and a brash upstart who was way out of his league."

I played the dutiful wife in public, and had my charities to keep me busy, albeit out of the spotlight. Life went on day after dull day, until my accountant noticed some 'incongruities' in the station's books. He didn't trust Samuel. By that time, Samuel hadn't graced my bed in over a year. I decided to take action. You know the rest of that particular story.

Thomas found me two months ago, through his own channels. He had come back to Portland a year ago, once he learned my parents had died in a car accident. You see, he had made a name for himself commercial contracting.

We were both determined to find our child, a boy, who is now twenty. What we didn't know was that Michael, our son, was trying to find us at the same time. The information was on the internet. We just needed some help in accessing it. The three of us, met for the first time, very discreetly a month ago. We have had to be very careful with the investigation of Trina and Samuel going on at the same time."

Mrs. Thorogood stopped to wipe the tears from her cheek. "Maybe now you can understand why I was so interested in your situation, Cate and Baze. I know it was not the same set of

initial circumstances, granted, but three people who were trying to be a family in spite of themselves. Three people who belonged together; and a fourth, who had a heart big enough to give them the chance, even if things were topsy-turvy."

Mrs. Thorogood walked over to what Cate assumed was one of the bedrooms, and called out," Thomas, Michael, you can come out now."

Out stepped a man in his early forties, with brilliant green eyes, and curly dark hair with just a hint of gray. Following him was a young man, with the cornflower blond hair of his mother, and the green eyes of his father. Eliza put an arm around each of them.

"Meet my family. Oh, it will take some time to make it official, but I don't believe Samuel will fight me over a divorce. His life is on the line, if he stays in the Portland jail. He has many enemies. I will have my freedom to start a new life with my son and his father, and Samuel, will be tried in another state and serve his time in a top secret location."

Ryan pinched himself. "If I didn't know better, I'd think all of this, both our situation and what we just heard, was part of a movie."

Eliza laughed. "I assure you, this is all very real." She suddenly frowned.

"Where is Lux, Cate? She needs to be here."

Cate's mind suddenly jerked into motion. "I left a note at Mom's for her to come here. Maybe I should give her a call."

The words had no sooner left Cate's mouth, than there was a knock upon the penthouse door.

"Mom? Are you in there?"

Cate pulled open the door, to see Lux standing there.

Cate stepped aside so Lux could come in. Lux was so wound up; she didn't acknowledge her surroundings-at first.

"Returning the gifts took forever, and then Laverne had to stop at the liquor store. She drank straight out of the bottle! I was so embarrassed. Anyway, we made it back to her house without an accident-I was praying all the way-and I found your note, called for a taxi-"

When she paused for breath, Lux decided to take a look around. Everyone was smiling at HER, _and who were the three people in the center of the room?_

"Mom, Dad, Ryan? What's going on?"

Cate cracked a grin. "Come on in, honey, this is going to take a while."


	10. Chapter 10

Life Unexpected -When All Seems Lost

10. What Comes Next

Lux rubbed her temples. The stress of the last 24 hours was finally taking its toll on her. After all a person could only take so much. She had no idea how she was going to navigate the next three days. She lay on her bed in the attic just trying to take it all in.

At least they didn't have to worry about the newspaper. Mrs. Thorogood had put the fear of God into the editor. So much so that the assistant editor had arrived with a written draft of an apology in hand:

"The editorial staff of the Oregonian sincerely apologizes for any discomfort and embarrassment caused to Ryan Thomas, Cate Cassidy, Lux Cassidy, and Nathaniel Bazile. We wish all the best to the aforementioned. Furthermore, we acknowledge that they have a right to their privacy. Having so stated, we do look forward with anticipation to the event being billed as "Our time, Our Story" hosted by K 100 on Wednesday morning at 11 AM. Kudos to Cate, Ryan, Lux and Baze for the courage and heart to share themselves with a very fickle public and press.

_Please join with us in allowing these four to maintain their dignity in what is probably the most trying time of their lives. Forgive us, Cate, Nate, Ryan , and Lux for marginalizing you as individuals, for reducing your pain to tawdry sensationalism, and for not giving you the respect you deserve."_

Personally, Lux would have preferred tar and feathering the entire editorial staff, but Ryan and her parents seemed satisfied_ ._She was tired of living her life in a goldfish bowl. Perhaps they would be left alone, once Ryan left, and _if_ her mother retired from radio.

"_Nah, I would never be that lucky," _she surmised. Besides, she had really enjoyed listening to her mother and Ryan on the air. "_Wednesday, is the last time," _she thought ruefully. Never before had she felt so conflicted. She loved Ryan almost as much as she loved her parents. Yet, she wanted a to be a family with Cate and Baze so much she could almost taste it.

It was within her grasp, but not without someone she loved paying a high cost, even if it was a cost he was willing to pay. She had been certain she was doing the right thing at the time. Now she was plagued with guilt, and second guessing herself.

_Lux had no idea how the future was going to play out, and she hated the uncertainty of it all. Unlike the adults, she had opted out of scripting her part in the "Our Time, Our Story" _gig, preferring to speak from the heart. No amount of cajoling had changed her mind. Finally, Mrs. Thorogood had persuaded Cate to leave her alone.

Cate had decided for herself that she needed some down time to just to rest mentally and physically, away from Cate, Baze, and Lux She had planned to check into a hotel, but Mrs. Thorogood wouldn't hear of it. She had invited Cate to stay in a carriage house on the Thorogood estate. Cate would have the service of a five star hotel, and human companionship from Eliza Thorogood only if she wanted it. Cate had gone home to pack, and to talk briefly with Lux.

"You're sure you'll be all right alone? You know you can stay with Baze..."

"_No, Mom. He needs space as much as the the rest of us right now. I promise I'll stay put. I need this time too."_

Cate had looked at Lux, her face full of uncertainty. She didn't know if Lux could survive the current crisis without resorting to past unsavory and sometimes dangerous behaviors.

"_Please trust me Mom. You know in your heart these last months have changed me. You want me to trust you, and I'm trying. Can't you give me the same respect?"_

Cate's face softened. Lux _had _changed. Lux's eye's were begging Cate to trust her daughter. Cate sensed her vulnerability. This was a side Lux rarely allowed _anyone _to see.

"_Okay, baby. I just want to make sure you're all right. Please call Baze if..."_

"_Go already! I have your cell phone, the mansion's phone, and Baze's!"_

Cate had giggled, and with a peck on Lux's cheek, she had made her exit from Lux's room. Ten minutes later Lux had heard the front door close. Ten minutes after that her eyes had closed in the sleep indicative of exhaustion, both physical and mental. Now she was having trouble waking up She cocked her ears, listening.

_Someone was in the house.__ But who? Everyone she knew was supposed to be somewhere else. Lux unplugged the bong lamp and quietly crept down the attic stairs. The noise was coming from Cate's room._

_A man in a gray hoodie leaned over Cate's vanity. Lux managed to sneak up behind him. Just as she was poised to to bring the lamp down on his head. He suddenly turned to face her._

"_Ryan!"_

"See ya later, Baze!" Bug called out, as he ran out the door of the bar. " I paid the beer man. The receipts are in the register."

"Good job, Bug. I want you to know that I'm really glad to decided to start GED classes."

Bug stopped and gave Baze a wistful grin. "Yeah, I'm done with the old me. I don't even like that person anymore. So I'm going to get that GED and maybe see about some technical classes afterward. I always liked to make things with my hands. I'm thinkin' carpentry or cabinet making. My old man was really good at making furniture when he was sober, which was almost never. I need to prove to myself that I'm better than that."

"You _are _better than that, Bobby. You had better get going. The bar is going to be closed today. I'll see you tomorrow."

"K. Later."

Baze trudged upstairs to his loft. Bug wasn't the only one wanting to make major changes in his life. Nathaniel Bazile was tired of the person he had been for most of his life: spoiled, self-centered, living day to day. He suddenly realized that even if Cate and Ryan were to remain married, he would feel the same way.

He grabbed pad and pencil off of the nightstand, and sat down on the bed. Perhaps he could turn the bar into something more upscale. Despite the craziness of the engagement dinner, the bar had worked well as the venue for the event. On the other hand, Cate and Ryan had used an off premise catering service.

The face lift he had in mind would require an on site state of the art kitchen, and the staff to run it- and one more thing he didn't currently have—money. He would have to borrow the money, and who in his right mind would lend it to him?

"Nate? Come on down son. I want to talk to you I just got off the phone with Eliza Thorogood. How about having a beer with your old Dad?

Baze smiled in spite of himself. _"That woman sure gets around. Dad sounds upbeat. What have I got to lose?"_

He walked down the stairs to the bar, to see his father behind the bar, filling two glasses.

"Is Molson Ale fine with you?"

What do you think, Dad?

John Bazile chuckled. "I know, stupid question. I think I ought to tell you that she called me last night after the blow-out at the reception. She told me what had happened, and what she had in mind. Told me she would call me after you guys met with her this morning. I thought maybe you could use a sympathetic ear. I promise I will listen, Baze, and not judge."

Baze shook his head in disbelief. " How do you know her Dad?"

"Portland Chamber of Commerce and several charities to which we both contribute. I have to say I never pegged her to have the guts to do what she did to Samuel and Trina. Boy, was I wrong. However, I'm glad Samuel Thorogood got what was coming to him. I always thought there was something shady about him."

"I don't know what to say, Dad. I guess I never really cared before about what you did, or who you knew unless it benefited me personally. I'm not that person anymore."

John Bazile clapped his son on the back before taking a sat across the table from him. Blue eyes stared into blue eyes.

"I know, son, I know."

"Dad, I have some ideas I would like to run by you. I want to make some changes to the bar."

"I'm listening, son."

Baze reached out across the table and took the hand his father proffered. Perhaps a new day was dawning for the relationship between father and son.


End file.
